There’s not much more to say than I’m off – and knowingly unready for this big adventure, excitedly. I’ve toiled with the thought of meaning and intent the past few days, trying to build more into my trip – only to realize that meaning is not a manifestation of thought, but of action and interaction. That makes me excited; to think that I must stumble upon my trip as it stumbles upon me.
The night before departure was tough. I found myself tossing and turning in anticipation. I’m still not sure if it was nervousness or excitement, probably a healthy dose of both. All I knew was the dense knot in my stomach that wouldn’t go away. It subsided upon landing in LAX – the first point of inconvenient return.
The final hours prior to departure were a sprint – a byproduct of some healthy procrastination. I had to register my finicky GPS, get an international phone – which turned into buying a new mobile, purchase insurance, pack my home for the next seven months, color coordinate my many shades of grey, get some last-minute work done (yay), play around with the video editing software long enough to be considered a novice, and of course – say goodbye.
Luckily, I had some much needed help from the wisest woman I know. A woman who once told me that work extends into the amount of time available. How right she was… is, dammit. At least I can say I get by with a little help from my friends.
I was sad to say goodbye to my family. I know when I see them again they won’t be the same, nor will I. 2018 is promising to be a year of immense transition – and like ripping off a bandaide it will hurt initially even if in search of a better tomorrow. I look forward to growing on this trip but know I will return a little less childish and a lot less immature. A healthy transition but irreversible, and thus – slightly melancholic; however, exciting nonetheless. This is a much needed and wanted transition.
Shout-out to my grandma who turned 95 on February 8th! Love you Peggy.